I'm feeling capable of...

The title of this piece is from a favourite Euro electro-indie band: CHVRCHES. Yes, it is all capitalised. Not the point. The entire piece chorus being:

                 "I'm feeling capable of
                       Seeing the end
                  I'm feeling capable of
                           Saying it's over."                                                                                 
                 - Tether - CHVRCHES

The interesting feeling the song gives you I feel is: A coming to grips with the end of something. A loss of any kind. I'm going through a great deal of loss as of late. One of them being the loss of my apartment. Something I wished wasn't happening. Sadly, something I cannot change.

I remember the first night I spent in this place. It was literally myself, a coffee table, and clothes. I had a cell phone for music, playing cards, and pen/paper for writing. It was like that for a month. I wasn't doing anything but playing cards and listening to music. Something I like to now, yet I have like video games, telly, and a mass of other shit to do. 

Anyway, my neighbour walks in from across the hall. We live in a four family building. So, just four of us reside here. We have gotten close. I think they are all wonderful people. Whom I am glad to know. My favourite: Charlotte.

Charlotte is a very loud person. Like myself. Probably actually louder. If that is possible. She speaks her mind and just lays it down. Doesn't matter your opinion. She just says it. I like that about her. I'm very opinionated and so is she. She makes me food and loves to talk. Which I cannot lie. She makes the best soul food you'll put on your mouth. Her Greens...damn.

Well, on my first night Charlotte comes to my door and knocks. I get up and answer it. What do I see: Charlotte and in her hands the fattest blunt I've ever seen. No lie. She hands it to me and says "Have a good first night."

Well, not to be someone to be so impolite. I ask her to smoke it. We have a blast! That was the first of many nights; we did just that.

Well, here I am on my last night here. Watching Simpsons and what happens? Charlotte is at my door, with another fat ass blunt, and says "Have a good last night." She declined to smoke this one. I did. I had a blast. I really needed that. I started this place with so little. I built a life here. Now, I'm leaving home. I'm sad. I understand it has to happen. I think that is why I have become capable of letting go.