Curiosity is something in which the world is full of. Everyone is curious about something and moves to make that curious part of them... fulfilled. Now, the interesting thing about curiosity is the single fact that is can be about any subject matter. The idea that curiosity fits any person, place, or thing. It's universal in that fact. What even more interesting about Curiosity is when... it can be placed by a person onto a person. I rather think I do not have an interesting life, but only because I live my life. I guess we are our worst critics and I have the worst review for myself sometimes. Only because growing up my self-esteem was basically non-existent because let's face it. Children can be cruel to those who are very different from the "Norm" children are encourage to believe in society by our failure of a public education system (let's face it. It's lacking more than the essentials needed to develop our youth for our modern age beliefs.)
So, basically two topics are coming alive right now! The first topic is the most by far interesting for myself. My family is quite a curious bunch. Especially when it comes to "Tegan". I think for the most part the idea of my existence as it is; is understood but still not fully grasped. Which, is no ones fault. It's quite a baffling topic to myself. I just am really along for the ride that is my body. I would honestly have it no other way. To be fully honest, I find the idea of being curious towards a person who breaks many "Norms" as well as Gender Barriers to be a point in the right direction for a person. Only if their curiosity is positive. It can become an unhealthy obsession. I've seen this happen first and second hand. A singular idea of someone being curious is grand, but the questions can both be repetitive and sometimes obstacles themselves to grasp (if you yourself have never asked them to yourself). I get to reflect not only on myself but on someone else's interest. It's quite flattering and daunting at both times.
We know that educating a person is quite a grand thing to do. As, when you educate someone on obscure topics "Gender Expression", "Sexual Orientation", and "Gender Roles" can be used as examples of topics that can be delve into to a point that everyone in the conversation throws their hands in the air and goes "FUCK THIS!". When you arrive at this point. So many questions are presented that you go out and learn more. Curiosity at it's best.
Another topic is Self-Esteem. Sometimes, I find it interesting to look back on where I have come from and look at where I stand now and go "Wow, this moment defined a piece of who I am today." That's great to have that reflection because it can be a building block of your self-esteem. Now, in all our lives Self-Esteem fluxing based on the circumstances we currently have in our life.. It's all circumstantial. Sometimes you can be top of Mount Everest and sometimes you can be in Challenger Deep. When I was in Public School. I was openly gay as well as Trans*. In which, people both praised my "Bravery" and proceed to harass me to points in which I wanted to destroy myself. Which, honestly I hope no one has to ever be that way about themselves. I since leaving school have been defining myself and not looking to others for the appreciation I need in my life. As I appreciate myself. Which is valid. So, self-esteem should be yours to define and make what you will. Being a person is quite a grand experience because life is a roller coaster and always leaving you wanting more. "Live as free as your hair." - "Hair" - Lady GaGa. Honestly, the most inspiration quote I have ever lived by. If not for that, I'd not be who I am on this day in time. Remember, we need to be the best we can be, to shape the world.
~ Tegan Rowan Stryker
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