He/She/They

    A couple days ago I was asked a very interesting question that I have not been asked before.  I've only been on a Gender-queer exploration of my body now for over a year, and the good thing is that it's been a blast.  Something that has just let me launch myself up and over the moon.  In a sense it's the most fulfilling thing I have done in the longest of times.  Which is just tops.  Anyway, you are probably wanting me to elaborate on the question.
  "So, since you go by He, She, and They pronouns.  Does that means you switch it up every so often?"  In a sense I can understand how someone would think that.  Which, I honestly would think the same thing and even am intrigued by that question myself.  So... the main question I have is "How do I actually control the pronouns and how do I even further let them know it's okay to say any of them?"  My pronouns are in a sense just He/She pronouns to folks.  I have yet to have a single person go to say they.  Only because the world is cruel and people assume pronouns.  We all know this in the Trans* community.  It's just... a horrid common occurrence.  I know you agree with me!
    They have assumed my pronouns because my presentation is usually either Masculine and Feminine most of the time.  I'm still working on the Gender-queer presentation.  I've walked around with full make up and gorgeous hair, girly clothes and no titties.  I have always walked around with a full bread, make up, male clothes and tits in.  In that sense though, I love the "Shock Factor" of the people who look at you and go "Wow, you are gorgeous."  Then, they peer at you as though they cannot find your tits and want to know if you are boy or girl (this is apparently a huge turn on for many folks) OR you get the people who stray from you because the fact you have upset the gender norms.
    So, if I look "Male" or "Female" I get that assumption put on me.  So,  if you do not know someone preferred Pronoun you assume it... correct?  NO!  You either resort to "They" as a back up or you ask them their preferred Pronoun.  The latter of the two is always nice to have.
    The main question though is simply "How do you honestly get a they?"  Which, I have found that I either do not divulge my Preferred Pronoun (PP) or I tell that person I would love to go by "They".  Other than that.  Most people know me as "He" or "She" because of my presentation or because I have just started going to "They" over the past year.  Also, tomorrow is the anniversary of going by He/She/They.  November 28, 2012 will make a year! HUZZAH!
     When it comes to the main question of the entire blog.  I really cannot put in words how I do it.  I just accept what people say and move on.  If they choose either of the options I present that is fine, because that is just how I like it.  I'm literally inclusion in human form!

~Tegan Rowan Stryker

P.S. "Ghost" by Dragonette was playing during the entire blog writing process on repeat.  That song = AMAZING.

Running with Spools!

   Obviously, we all wear clothes. Unless you were just born, a nudist, or you are copulation.   Do you ever wonder why clothes are the sizes they are or even way you have to buy a size that may be considered “Plus Size”, “Large”, and “Extra - Large”?  What designates whether clothes are either “Male” or “Female”?  The questions are quite simple to ask yourself, if, you ever bring them up.  Most people blindly buy clothes, as they are a necessity to be clothed in society.  It’s crazy to not have clothes. I wear them, your siblings, friends, and family wears them as well…  Your Mother naked; Eck.             

       Anyway, you know that clothing is tailored to specific measurements made by measuring mannequins that are of the average sizes.  “Small”, “Medium”, and “Large” are examples of this.  Though, the averages are never the same for all sizes. As the manufacturer of the clothes can set the parameters of any size they want “Small”, “Medium”, or “Large” to be.  It’s by their discretion.  Meaning, you can make “Small” as little in number as you want, or make “Large” as big as you want.  It is not fair subject people who wear your clothing to the standards, which a person feels like setting them too.  No wonder we have such a problem with self-esteem in American culture at the moment. All because an industry that feeds on the aesthetic appeal of the people who fall victim to their standards, live up too.  This industry should be standardized across the board.  A woman should not have to buy a “9” in one size and a “32” in another size.  Just because we feel that the Metric System and Standard (Imperial) should coexist.   Cannot we use a standard scale that caters to both sexes and is not offensive?  You may ask yourself “How is it offensive?”  It’s simple.  The clothing industry is allowed to tell the public that sizes above a certain number (that they set yearly) can be considered “Plus Size”.  Why?  It’s horrible to say that someone is over weight because they buy a certain type of clothing.  Many factors contribute to weight.  No industry has the right to make this a way to feed on people’s images.

                We have models, wives to be, and teenagers going to prom that fight to lose weight to fit in a dress that is smaller than they are.  They diet to make it work.  Why? Easily said: Because the standards of images in the world and in American culture are to be skinnier than the rest. Otherwise, you are overweight or “Large”.  This may or may not be the case.  Just, you do not need a collective group telling you to what to wear and how to wear it.  You should live up to your own standards and rules.  Otherwise, you are living to standards that change almost daily. The main fact of it all is that this industry has never been told to have a standard that they should live up too.  We should make clothing Uni-sexual.   This is an easy way to deal with the offensive nature of what clothes contribute too.

Step One: Get rid of all “Small”, “Medium”, and “Larges” type sizing.  The reason why?  They are based on an average sizing scale set by the manufacturer and not standardized.

Step Two:  Eliminate the both “Male” and “Female” sizes for clothing and start from scratch.

Step Three: Measure a collective group of people in every age group we use for demographics.  Why? Because this will give you the averages that are honest and in no way can be lied about.  We measure these with the Metric system and not the Standard.

Step Four: Produce clothing in numbers that are congruent with the waist, bust, shoulder, and hip sizes.  This way, no matter the size of them, you can find the correct sizing always.  Numbers should start from the smallest average size and go to the largest average size, then fill all numbers in-between.

Step Five: Make sure that Toddler and Baby clothing lines continue to exist as they are considered uni-sexual already.  No tampering with their sizing is needed.

Step Six: Produce clothing and regardless of the sex or gender let people shop for their sizes.  This way, all clothing is standardized, uni-sexual, and no longer offensive to the persons of the world.

It’s really that simple.  You can easily begin the process and phase it in when all tests are completed.   It will be a large overhaul, but, think about how long people have been making tailor made clothing for people of different weights and sizes for years. We can bring back the tailors and seamstresses and give them a job market to fill.  Jobs would be available as well as a staple in life.  It’s beneficial all the way around.

                This does not mean a large overhaul of the Fashion/Clothing industry is needed. I do not want to hider the making or production of clothing; dismantle the establishment “Logo” by “Logo”.  I want nothing more than to allow the industry to prosper, with this system we eliminate the mainstream image that is put on people.  Regardless of your weight and size, you’d have no problem finding what you needed to wear to be yourself.  We are all equal with this system.  It completely stops the segregation of gender/sex in clothing, makes it easier to shop for your ideal sizes that perfectly fit you.  Imagine finding pants that fit you the correct way and no longer having to make the decision “Do I want the extra room in the back, but have my hips fit right?”  You would be perfect because you’d have the correct measurement to wear.  It would be comfortable to wear as well as to be seen in.  Both sides of being physically attractive in your clothing as well as self-satisfied in your clothing are achieved.

                In this document I do not wish to offend as much as to educate on why things would be better in a world that accepted that gender/sex existed but was not made to make the people of the world conform to the standards it sets.  We can be our own persons and exist easily as ourselves.

Spread Your Wings

     I as a person give advice daily to people all over the place.  I absolutely enjoy this aspect of being who I am.  Just because these people look to me for guidance.  It's nice to know that your opinion is wanted and well received.  Today though, I had a friend ask me for advice on a topic that seemed to be something I have yet to talk about to anyone.  Which is Long Distance Relationships.
     With the increase we have in technology daily.  I believe that a Long Distance Relationship is something that can easily be tackled.  Skype, Texting, Phone Calls, and Facebook make relationships easier to keep up with and be a involved partner in.  Sometimes, we forget that these even exist because of the lengths people go to maintain them.  Makes these people seem as though they are in the same room most the time.  This is great to see happen and I support it. As they are legitimate forms of dating.
     We honestly as humans cannot help who we fall in love with.  As romantic and sexual attraction are on spectrum's and we ourselves move along that spectrum because each person we meet is different than the last.  Thus, we can be different forms of Romantic and Sexual attraction.  So, if you meet someone who lives 200 miles away but is absolutely stunning to you based on certain features and aspects.  By all means, you may have found the person for you.  The internet has made Long Distance Relationships more mainstream than they use to be in the past.  Use to be that you'd meet someone and they would move away, if you didn't get a phone number or mailing address.  You'd never seem or hear from them again.  ONLY because these where the only forms of communication 30 years ago.
     Though, tackling the distance barrier can as well be hard.  Only because the need for human contact can be rather haunting.  It takes time and persistent patience to maintain this type of relationship, because of the lack of contact. You have to work it into your schedule to be honest.  You have to work time together like any relationship, but you have to more often because you cannot just go out and see each other at the local club/bar/restaurant.  The need to see each other visually is more than a want.  You have to make sure you can use the technology available to tackle this.  Meaning you Skype went able, you talk on the phone when able, and you even text when able.  Just to let the other person know you are willing to go to great lengths to make it work.
     That though, can become stale.  As it's a constant redundancy that both you and your partner/s have to face.  Switch it up!  Maybe your partner/s and you people who love video games.  This is a great opportunity to play MMOs (Massive Multi-player Online games) together.  Or maybe do blogs/vlogs together on various topics/Current Events?  These are just a few ways that getting to know your partner can grow into something more.  You'll learn more about your partner if you talk about various subjects.  As well if you have the opportunity to meet up, you should take it. For this will help with the distance and need for contact.
      A long distance relationship should be more about getting to know a person for who they are.  That way when you finally do meet.  You and your partner/s can hit it off just perfect.  It's going to be a trial.  I know this all too well.  Though, building ways to incorporate time together and learning about your partner/s.  That's something I want to stress, because you need to make sure you can let your partner/s know. Know that you are willing to go the extra mile to be in a relationship, because the distance.

Past, Present, Future

    Something I never really get to talk about is about what my past actually was like.  Yeah, every once in a while I get to drop a story about a past experience I had or I get to see old friends and talk about how far we have come from who we once were.  I think one thing I try to not forget is my past.  Only for the pure fact that if those experiences hadn't happened to me, seen what I have seen, and been where I have been.  I'd never be able to be this masterpiece in progress that is the person I am.  Sometimes, the past gets me but then I think of the future work I am laying for people like myself as well as for myself and I go "I'm doing something more beautiful than I deemed possible."

       You look at me now and you see a Gender-queer person.  Someone who has compiled a GREAT deal of experiences.  Those experiences have gotten me to this singular point in my life where as a person I can validate myself.  On December 1st, I'm going to be a member of the Trans* community for eight years this year.  Tegan, that silly little cheerful teenager.  Who struggled internally for years on her gender and life in general is going to be eight.  It's a little daunting to think it took me this long to get to where I am.  I had to sit down at a time when most people are discovering themselves for the second time and I had to discover myself for the first time.  The real first time, not those failed attempts before hand.  I'm happy because I've made great strides in my personal life since that reconciliation I had with myself.  Which was just perfect.  It's a moment at your life builds up too.  Like, you just one day reflect on yourself and go "Ding! It's so clear now."  Not only have I had that several times in my life.  Everyday is a first time with myself to be honest. I embrace those moments.

    In the past, I wasn't the person I am today.  That statement is true.  When I was growing up aspects of my life now where not even a part of my past days.  I can remember when I didn't have but a single friend and that single friend was my lover at the time.  Jimmy Kawazowa, someone who really helped me take all the negative in my life and build it to be what it is.  School was always a let down, I never felt that in public school systems I would learning anything. I felt bombarded with just noise.  No time to blossom.  The children did not like me and mocked me because I was different.  This was a common ground I shared for all 12 years of Public School.  I really never saw any highlight to it.  To that extent I dove into ways to act out, ways that I felt where necessary for myself as well as the world to see me as.  I was rude, brash, and out spoken to the sense it warranted being disciplined.  I turned to drugs and alcohol at an early age to be able to make myself feel horrible. I use to say "I want to bring my body down to my level.  I want to crash and burn."  I came close to "crash and burn" several times indeed.  I remember feeling that every time I got high I was doing myself and the world a favour.  Just because I felt not a single person cared about me.  I would sleep with people to get my fix.  I was literally using sex to survive my addiction.  Which, deemed it necessary.

    

    I wouldn't ever speak a nice word to people because I didn't know how too.  My prime examples on how I should act towards people where people who 

A) Treating me like I was not worth a kind word

B) More demented and fucked up than I was.

   We wonder why our children grow up to be who they are?  Maybe it's the examples that we as a society create for our children. I am an example of what society creates for children, why they act out, why the destroy when they should create.  Though, it was nice to be dealt a shitty hand honestly.  Just because I needed to know was bad there was in the world.  That way I could create the good I do now.  Jimmy taught me to take what bad I was dealt and make them strengths.  Fighting an addiction made it known that I could persevere anything as well as be strong for those who need me to be strong.  Learning how to help someone in need instead of spitting on them.  That showed me that I could be helpful and have a purpose.  Learning that I could speak out about the things I hated.  That built the passion I have nowadays and even more made me grow into a more soft-hearted, caring, and compassionate person.  Which I would never want to change.

   The future, that is a so bright it's scary.  Just because options are all I have. I haven't been in a bad spot in years and that is because of the positive energy I have been channeling since I was 18.  It's been luck to be this way, and luckily I have realised what good it was.  I think the reflection I take of myself just ensures that my work is going to grow, mature, and become a beacon for anyone who wants guidance.  I have great friends now, support out the buttocks, and stories and experiences that grow more and more.  I wouldn't change this life.  It's just too darn sweet.

Gendertics

 Any people anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the right to rise up, and shake off the existing government, and form a new one that suits them better. This is a most valuable - a most sacred right - a right, which we hope and believe, is to liberate the world.  – Abraham Lincoln
                The quote above, I feel really brings the beginning of a belief that is looked over in today’s society.  That is “The Right to Abolish Government” The American Constitution:  Our founding document that has ruled this land for over 200 years. It has seen some of the biggest changes amended to it in the last 100 than what our founding fathers had in mind.  Yet, in this day and age we have yet to really tackle some of the biggest problems we see in today’s lifestyle.  How many of problems do you think of?

-          Universal Healthcare
-          Equal Rights
-          Homosexual Marriage
-          Employee Rights
           
                When it comes to such an institution, the political “game” is still considered a man’s “game”. As majority of all Representatives, Congress members, Supreme Court Justice, and finally Federal and State political seat holders are male in the United States of America.   We fail to really see that all issues that are presented to the government that need to be addressed are in the end.  They come down to gender issues.  Gender is the single key issue, if addressed and dealt with in the most sensitive way it can be would abolish much discussion of rights in American Government.  Statistically speaking “Gender” can be building block for anything.  As both “Female” and “Male” bodies are different in many ways, and yet are very similar in ways as well.  It’s just how you see them.  Let’s break down the government’s seat holders by gender then, we shall tackle the issues.  You are going to need to think about this!      
            The American government has three branches: Legislative, Executive, and Judicial.  Let’s start with the Legislative (also, the largest of all three).  The Legislative branch is made up of the U.S. Congress.  We have had 112 Congresses since it was first established in 1789. The Congress is 541 members strong. Now, Congress consists of two separate assemblies: The Senate and House of Representatives.  This breaking  541 members between the houses you get 100 to the Senate (Two elected from each state) and the House of Representatives which consist of 435 (State population determines how many Representatives a state is allotted) … Wait? That doesn’t equal 541… Correct.  You have 6 non-voting delegates as well.  So, now time for a gender statistics overhaul!

111th Congress Statistics
House of Representatives
435 Members + 6 Non-Voting Delegates

Male  362 Members are Male

Female  73 Members are Female

Senate
100 Members

Male  83 Members are Male

Female  17 Members are Female

     When it comes down to it and numbers do not lie. Women do not make up a large portion of most political seats in Federal or State government.   As, it comes down to it: Women’s Equal Rights did not allow this for the longest time, as they were non-existent.  Now, the laws have changed and yet, gender wise, Men have the upper hand because they have “ruled” over these seats since they were first established.  Thus, Men holding the seats are a tradition that is still very seen in our society.  So, this is why the number is only slowly growing as Women are almost 200 years behind the men in American Politics.                 It’s ultimately a fail that anything like Gender Segregation happens in politics when two major political parties exist:  Republican and Democratic parties.  These parties exist with both sexes/genders in them.  Even though sectors in the parties exist of different viewpoints and beliefs but the major issues still unite the parties as a whole.  Meaning both sexes/genders have the same viewpoints on key issues and ideally vote for those in their district that will represent them based on which party they are in.  So, does it really matter that the gender/sex of the person makes them a better or less person to run for a seat for that party?  No, because they are united on key issues. That’s why the idea of segregation that we do not force but follow because it’s a tradition really is a fallacy.                
               The only issues that gender should be an issue is ultimately healthcare.  Why you ask?  Well, it’s simple that the female body and the male body are different in many functions as well as similar.  We just need to make sure that the help that is needed to take care of which ever body you have.  That’s only where it should come down too.  We exist as two bodies, but when you force the idea of gender into issues that play no real factor into them.  Only makes them worst because you are forcing false ideas into issues that could get along just fine.   Homosexual Marriage is one of these.  Many state Charters in the United States state that marriage is “The union of two people who are of the opposite sex.” This is also known as ‘Man and Woman’.  Why should anyone have the right to bar two people from doing what they deem they have achieved with their lives and relationship.  If two people find that they can exist with each other and love each other for their life.  Why should they not get the benefits that come with it?  ‘Civil Unions’ and ‘Domestic Partnerships’ is one thing, yet, they have their downsides as well:

Civil Unions: Demark in 1989, set up this type of “Marriage Status” that allowed couples of the same-sex to gain benefits of a married couple but the only argument best summed up by Nancy Cott “There is really not comparison, because there is nothing like marriage except marriage.”  It’s only argued that it allows the state to discern a couple as second class citizens because they are not under law part of the “Married” status. (Civil Union, 2012)

Domestic Partnership: Predating the 1999 legislative turn for this form of relationships, a domestic partnership allowed two major benefits for same-sex couples.  One, they were allowed hospital visits and time off for taking care of a partner in the hospital.  Two, they were allowed to put their partner down as next as kin in wills as well as insurance policies.  After 1999, most states who had this legislation actually allowed a change to give all benefits a married couple received to domestic partnerships. (Domestic Partnership, 2012)

                 Finally, you can see that no differences come across these two forms of partnerships except wording. The two major parts of these is this:  That in either of these types of “Marriage Statuses” they are known for giving benefits as a married couple but is not considered a full blown “Marriage”.  Secondly, Marriages are excepted in all 50 states.  Unlike a Marriage, Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions are not.  Only a handful for states accepts these as a form of union between two same-sex members. Secondly, if you move out of a state that allows such a form of bondage.  You will find that you can have your Union revoked.  It is up to that state you move into to allow it or to deny it based on their state legislation.
                Above you can see the benefits of these two types of “Unions” for homosexuals.  Ultimately, the singular idea that everyone is trying to achieve is the idea that all persons regardless of gender or sexual orientation, should not be persecuted because they are different.  The United States was founded for the exact opposite reason; it was founded for being free from tyranny that kept a person from being who they wanted to be.  That is a government that I see when I look at the American Government.  Even though you have people with intentions other than those of you or I see when we look.                 What do you know about Equal Rights for Employees in America?  Did you know that it does not legally state that Women have the same equal rights as Men? The Bill of Rights was never amended to allow this to happen.  Now, it may state “No Persons”, but you really can’t rely on that when it states “All Men are created equal.”  Gender, should never play a factor in who a company or person should hire to work from them.  Work Ethic and Character should play a large role in it.  If a person is more qualified for a job over another, then that person who is more qualified should get the job.  They should also get equal wages across the board.  In the job fields, a company can give raises based on performance.                  Though, they can give them to who they deem worthy.  Meaning, if a company wants they can discriminate against a person of Sex, Religion, Creed, Color, or Orientation.  All they have to do is not give a wage increase to that person or give a wage increase of lesser proportions.  I feel that the scale is just set there to ensure no one can feel discriminated against, yet, it does exactly that.  The raise scale set by any company, really just sets them up to make it feel unfair and all they have to say is it is “Based on job performance” to get away with it.  Only equal raises that are given are “Cost of Living” wage increases.  The only thing that is equal is the fact that you can only give a payment per hour that is no less than “Minimum Wage”.  Unless, that worker is in a position that offers tips as equal compensation as a fair wage.  This is normally what you would expect a “Hostess” or “Server” at a restaurant to receive.
                We established a government for the better of a collective that was discriminated upon.  That is really the main reason the American Government was established.  People who wanted a freedom to be who they wanted to be and to live as they deemed fit for themselves and not as another person saw.  Somewhere down the line though, this was forgotten and the greed of people and the closed minded agenda that is bred from greed.  That is what we live in now.  Progressive as it still is, it’s been hinder by other obligations that are put first.  Mainly, the need for money, foreign affairs, and the dependence we as a country have on foreign goods and services.  One day though, our country will make every bad decision we have ever made and overturn them.  That will be when we as a country see who a person is, and no longer let an uncontrollable factor as gender/sex rule that we see.




Works Cited(CAWP), C. F. (2012). Women in Elective Office 2012. New Brunswick, NJ: Center for American Woman and Politics (CAWP).
Civil Union. (2012, March 5). Retrieved March 18, 20122, from Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_unionDomestic Partnership. (2012, February 11). Retrieved March 18, 2012, from Wikipedia:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnerships_in_CaliforniaBrainyQuote. (2001 - 2012). Abraham Lincoln Quotes. Retrieved March 9, 2012, from BrainyQuote:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/abraham_lincoln.htmlWikipedia. (2012, February 22). Members of the 111th United States Congress. Retrieved March 9, 2012, from Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Members_of_the_111th_United_States_Congress

Bar Thoughts

I'm currently sitting in a bar keeping to myself and just thinking about the world about me. The people are few and far from each other. Some in groups but a few keeping to themselves as though human interaction is quite something they would rather keep from. Life seems to very quite something we all experience in different ways. Thus is our experiences. We rarely as people spot the differences that make us people. We loom for the entire picture to make sense. We aren't positive what that is, though we persevere to grow. It hurts sometimes because being human has that cause and effect.  The world is tiny when compared to the boundless universes that we stare vastly into. To us though, the world is quite large. A single person in a sea of billions. We are human. That has positives and negatives. Those make us who we are. Regardless of experience and chance; we grow. In some way reading this right now. You have grown. That is a series of events that have led you to this point. In some way you are here.  Now that you are. I have your attention, which is the reason you are here. Me. I did something amazing to spark a revolution in you to be here. Everything we do is a revolution in the fact it affects us. We may disregard that ideal state. It's true. We need reason and cause to do an action. We justify anything to make it ideal to us at least. Perception differs per person. So, what seems just to one may seem crazy and outlandish to anyone else. Thus is human. So, in this bar we seem distant but for reasons. It's a building as humans to be us. So, thus this bar is merely a voice to the masses. As it was to me.

~Tegan